Crying Babies: Why Do They Cry and What Can You Do?

Great to have you reading along again! With my blogs, I aim to support parents in their journey through parenthood and child-rearing. Parenthood is beautiful, but also challenging. That's exactly why it's important to realize that difficult moments are part of the experience. Don't see them as problems, but as part of the journey. Enjoy it—even when things feel tough at times. Happy reading!

Crying Is Normal – and Healthy

Crying is how babies communicate. Since they cannot talk yet, they use crying to let you know that something is going on. This can be many things: hunger, a dirty diaper, tiredness, intestinal cramps, feeling cold or too warm, trapped wind, or simply the need for closeness and comfort.

In the first weeks, crying is completely normal. Babies tend to cry the most between 6 and 8 weeks of age. After that, crying usually decreases gradually. Around 3 months of age, a baby cries on average 1 to 1.5 hours per day, often mainly in the evening.

You may have heard that crying is "good for the lungs." This is a persistent myth. Crying does not make your baby stronger. What is true is that crying has a purpose: it is the only way a young baby can communicate that they need something.

What If Your Baby Keeps Crying?

Sometimes it's not clear why your baby is crying, and you may struggle to comfort them. This can be frustrating and make you feel insecure. The most important thing is to stay calm yourself. Babies are very sensitive to your tension, which can actually intensify the crying.

Try to calm yourself first, then gently observe what your baby might need. By trying different approaches, you will gradually discover what works best for your baby.

Ways to Comfort Your Baby

Every baby is different, but there are many things you can try:

• Hold your baby on your shoulder or in your arms
• Rock gently or walk back and forth
• Let your baby rest on your thigh or forearm (tummy-down position)
• Gently stroke their back or belly
• Speak softly or sing
• Offer a pacifier, cuddly toy, or calming music
• Swaddling or using a sleeping bag
• Baby massage
• Using a baby carrier or wrap
• Taking a bath together or giving your baby a warm bath

Babies often feel most comfortable in a curled, flexed position, similar to how they were positioned in the womb. This posture gives them a sense of safety and security.

In addition to the tips above, there are tools that can help recreate this feeling, such as:

• Womb sounds / white noise: White noise can calm babies because it resembles the sounds they heard in the womb, such as a heartbeat or flowing blood. These sounds can provide a sense of safety and comfort, helping babies fall asleep faster and stay asleep longer.

• Baby bouncer (doorway swing), baby swing, or rocker: these are seats for babies that gently move back and forth. They are designed for babies who cannot yet hold their heads fully upright on their own, but who do have some strength in their neck muscles.

  The gentle rocking motion has a calming effect on the baby and allows him or her to be part of the surrounding environment.

Am I Spoiling My Baby If I Pick Him Up Every Time He Cries?"

Many parents wonder whether they are spoiling their baby by picking them up frequently when they cry. The answer is: no, absolutely not. During the first six months, you cannot spoil your baby. By picking them up and comforting them, your baby learns that you are there for them, which creates a sense of safety and trust.

In the past, parents were often told to let babies cry in order to avoid spoiling them. Today, we know that prolonged crying without comfort can actually be harmful. A baby may feel abandoned and unsafe. So comforting is not spoiling—it is an essential foundation for healthy attachment.

After about six months, your baby begins to understand that your response is connected to their behavior. They learn that you come when they cry. This is not a problem, as long as you set boundaries and respond consistently.

Tips for Older Babies (From 6 Months Onward)

You can—and should—still comfort older babies, but it helps to explain what is happening. For example, you might say:

"I hear you crying. I always come to check if everything is okay. Now it's time to sleep, and I'll stay nearby."

Your baby may not fully understand your words yet, but your calm voice and presence provide reassurance and a sense of safety. In this way, your baby learns that they can rely on you and that it's okay to be on their own sometimes. This helps build self-confidence.

Always be honest in what you say and do what you promise—this gives your child trust and security.

My Experience as a Mother

I still remember clearly how my oldest son kept crying and I didn't know what to do. I was in the process of weaning him from breastfeeding, but he refused the bottle. After visiting the doctor, it turned out he was simply hungry. In hindsight, it made perfect sense, but at the time I felt insecure and frustrated. That happens to every parent at some point. We all do our best, and sometimes we make mistakes—and that's okay.

Many parents I work with tell me that their baby stops crying as soon as they pick them up. They then wonder whether their baby is "manipulating" them or "seeking attention." But babies don't cry to intentionally control you. They stop crying because they feel safest with you—and that is exactly how it should be.

In Conclusion

Crying is normal behavior for babies. It is their way of communicating with you. Trust your instincts, try different ways of comforting, and remember that you cannot spoil your baby by offering love and closeness.

A wonderful book that offers insight into why babies cry and provides tips that also strengthen the bond between you and your baby is:

Thank you for reading this blog. If you have any questions or would like to share something, feel free to leave a comment below.

Take good care of yourself – and by doing so, also take good care of your baby.
Until next time.

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