My Own Story

Let me start with my own story, so you can get to know me a little better

Life has challenged me in many ways. I haven't always made the right choices, but that's human. Nobody is perfect. And you don't need to be perfect—especially not as a parent. When we try to be perfect, we place that same pressure on our children, and that isn't fair. By showing them our mistakes, we teach them that making mistakes is part of life and that you can grow from them.
But enough wise words—back to my story.

I grew up in a minister's family. That wasn't always easy. Our family stood at the center of a Christian community and had a role model function. Our home was often busy, filled with people who needed help. Because of that, there was little time for ourselves.

We were expected to be strong and not show our problems. But of course, they were there. And we had to solve them on our own. Loving attention and hugs were rare. We also moved every five years. Constantly saying goodbye and starting over in a new place. One of those moves took us from Haarlem to Zeeland. We were not easily accepted there, because we came from "outside" and didn't speak the local dialect.

During my teenage years, I felt very shy and insecure. School was difficult. I felt depressed and desperate. Thankfully, I met a friend who had gone through something similar. She helped me regain some strength. I moved from lower secondary education to higher general secondary education—it was tough, but I persevered!

After graduating, I had my first holiday romance. For the first time, I felt like I could truly be myself. It gave me confidence. After that, I started studying nursing. That wasn't easy either. I was shy and hardly dared to speak in class. Thankfully, I found a friend I could talk to and practice with.

After completing my studies, I worked as a community nurse. I learned a lot and made wonderful friendships. During a vacation in France, I met my husband. We fell in love and married quickly, even though we didn't have much money. Within two years, I became a mother to our oldest son. It was a beautiful but exhausting time.

Later, I moved to youth healthcare because I wanted to work with vulnerable children. After the birth of our third son—who needed extra care due to his cleft lip and palate—I felt more peace. I could enjoy parenthood more, and also enjoy myself more.

Unfortunately, I developed health problems. I had long struggled with back issues due to scoliosis, and later developed a herniated disc and other complications. I kept pushing through until I broke my hip after a fall. Recovery took a lot of time and energy. When I tried to return to work, I developed severe back and leg pain. Tests showed that I also had osteoarthritis, along with additional issues.

I had to stop working and fell into a deep depression.
Fortunately, I found help at the Rughuis. There, I learned how to cope with my conditions. It was an intense process, but it brought me closer to myself. I found my new direction: guiding parents. Something I had always loved doing.

Now I write books, stories, and blogs to support parents—because I believe that parenthood, despite its challenges, is something truly beautiful. Let the problems be there. Try to enjoy the journey.

Tip: Read more about my story in my autobiography:"The Child Nobody saw"