Prenatal and Postpartum Depression: What If the Pink Cloud Doesn't Appear?

How nice that you're reading along again! With my blogs, I aim to support parents in parenting and raising their children. Parenting is beautiful, but sometimes also challenging. It is precisely in those challenges that value and growth can be found. Don't see it as failure, but as part of the process. Enjoy reading!

What is prenatal or postnatal depression?

A prenatal depression (pregnancy depression) develops during pregnancy. A postpartum depression (postnatal depression) usually begins after childbirth, but it can also occur after a miscarriage or abortion.

These forms of depression are often caused by the profound changes that pregnancy and childbirth bring — physically, hormonally, emotionally, relationally, socially, and financially. During this period, you are often more sensitive, emotional, and easily fatigued. That is normal.

But sometimes these feelings become heavier, more persistent, and overwhelming. In that case, there may be depression.

When do we speak of depression?

Around ten days after giving birth, pregnancy hormones drop significantly. Many women experience a short period of low mood, often referred to as the "baby blues." This usually passes on its own.

However, if your low mood persists or worsens, and you feel like you are losing control over yourself, there may be a prenatal or postpartum depression. The risk is higher if:

• you have previously experienced mental health problems,
• you have had a difficult pregnancy or childbirth,
• there are mental health disorders in your family,
• or if you experience little support from your environment.

What does a postpartum depression feel like? 

You had hoped to be on a pink cloud, but it turns out not to be there. You may feel:

• fatigue and a lack of energy,
• sadness, anxiety, or restlessness,
• doubt about your role as a mother,
• guilt because you're unable to enjoy this time,
• difficulty sleeping due to worries or constant overthinking,
• or even negative thoughts toward yourself or your baby.

Some mothers feel empty, struggle to bond with their child, or are overwhelmed by guilt and shame. Thoughts such as feeling that you are doing everything wrong or that you are not a good mother are also common.

It's important to know: having thoughts about harming yourself or your baby does not mean that you want to act on them. These thoughts are a symptom of depression and call for care and support — not judgment.

Seek help – you don't have to do this alone    

It is incredibly important to seek help. Start with people you trust: your partner, family members, or a close friend. Talk about how you feel. Ask for support, rest, and practical help — for example, with caring for your baby.

If this is not enough, contact your general practitioner or child health clinic. They can guide you or refer you to a specialized professional, such as a psychologist or postpartum coach.

I also offer guidance in the form of online video training programs. Together, we work on recovery, rebuilding self-confidence, and strengthening the connection with yourself and your baby.

If you notice that your symptoms are becoming severe, you feel confused, or you are thinking about suicide, call your local emergency number or a suicide prevention hotline immediately. You are not alone, and help is always available.

My own experience as a mother

After the birth of my first child, I went through a difficult period myself. The delivery was intense, and the first days were overwhelming — my baby cried a lot.

I was exhausted, emotional, and overwhelmed. When the maternity nurse left, I felt alone and incapable of handling motherhood.

I felt guilty because I couldn't enjoy this time. Fortunately, I received support from my husband and a close friend. By allowing myself to rest and talk about it, I slowly began to recover. I read about postnatal depression and learned to understand myself better. Those insights helped me accept the situation and trust that things would improve — and they did.

What I have learned from working with parents

In my practice, I have guided many parents through mental health struggles during and after pregnancy. They felt heard, seen, and understood — without judgment. That sense of safety and trust made it possible for them to share their deepest emotions.

Together, we explored their thoughts and beliefs. Through practical exercises and insights, they learned to break negative patterns and manage their feelings in a healthy way. They regained control over themselves and over their role as a parent.

Finally

A prenatal or postpartum depression is nothing to be ashamed of. It happens to many women (and men too!), and you do not have to go through it alone. Break the silence. Ask for help. Give yourself the time and space to recover.

Thank you for reading. Take good care of yourself, be yourself, and in doing so, give your child the best. See you next time.

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