Screen Time and Digital Media: Parenting in a Digital World

How nice that you're reading along again!

With my blogs, I want to support parents in parenting and raising their children. Parenting is beautiful – and yes, sometimes quite challenging too. But those challenges are part of it. Try not to see them as problems, but as a natural part of being a parent.

In this blog, I will discuss a topic that concerns many parents: screen time and children's use of digital media. How can you deal with this in a healthy way?

What exactly is screen time?

 Screen time is the amount of time a child spends in front of a screen – such as a phone, tablet, television, laptop, or game console. This time is often separate from other important activities like playing outside, moving, doing crafts, or having social interactions.

Too much screen time can have negative effects. For example, reduced physical activity, poorer sleep, less social interaction, or overstimulation. Some children may even become addicted to gaming. However, screen use also has positive aspects. Gaming, for instance, can stimulate problem-solving skills, reaction speed, and strategic thinking.

Although screens have become a regular part of everyday life, it is important to look for balance. Too much screen time can come at the expense of movement, social contact, and rest.

What does science say about screen use in young children?

 For children under the age of 2, screen use is generally discouraged. At that age, children mainly learn through real interaction with parents or caregivers. Screens cannot replace that.

From the age of 2, children can begin learning through recognizable and repetitive games or videos. As they grow older, children can learn to apply strategies through games and gain insight into others' opinions through social media.

Even so, it remains important that screen time is balanced with other activities.

The Trimbos Institute conducts research, including studies on the screen time of young children:

When is it too much?

A helpful guideline is: no more than 1 to 2 hours of screen time per day for children aged 2 and older. But more important than the number of minutes is whether screen time is replacing other important activities. Does your child still have enough time to move, play, sleep, and relax? If not, it may be time to step in.

The moment when screens are used also matters. It is better to stop using screens at least one hour before bedtime. The blue light from screens disrupts the production of Melatonin, the hormone that helps your child fall asleep.

Social media: better to wait a bit longer

For young children, the use of social media is not recommended. Most platforms are not designed to be child-friendly and can involve risks, such as exposure to inappropriate content or contact with strangers. Older children can use social media, but it is important that parents stay involved and make clear agreements together.

Want to learn more? Take a look at the ‘ media smart online guide/ resources’.

But… digital media also have advantages
 

Gaming or digital learning apps can also contribute to:

• Better hand–eye coordination
• Improved problem-solving skills
• Stimulation of creativity and spatial awareness
• Faster information processing

So it isn't black and white. What matters is how and when screens are used.

How much screen time is appropriate?

A practical guideline:

• Under 2 years: preferably no screens
• Between 2 and 5 years: maximum of 1 hour per day, divided into short moments
• From 6 years and older: maximum of 2 hours per day, depending on schoolwork and other activities

More important than the number of minutes is whether screen time replaces other important activities, such as playing, resting, being physically active, or spending time with others.

What can you do as a parent?

• Make clear agreements with your child about when and how long screens can be used
• Explain why these rules exist in a calm and understandable way
• Create screen-free moments, for example during meals, just before bedtime, or when you have visitors
• Give a 5-minute warning before screen time ends
• Set a good example with your own screen use

Important: reward positive behavior (for example stopping on time) and try to ignore negative behavior as much as possible.

My experience as a mother

 
As a mother of three boys, I have experienced firsthand how differently children deal with digital media. My oldest son only got a game console around his eighth birthday, because at that time it was still quite new. My middle son discovered the PlayStation when he was just three years old. And my youngest grew up in a time when screens and the internet were already a normal part of everyday life.

Especially with the youngest, it was sometimes difficult to set boundaries. He had two older brothers with experience and wanted to join in. Playing together was fun, but stopping was difficult. We learned to make clear agreements about what was and wasn't allowed, and to stay consistent with them.

What I hear from other parents
 

In my work with parents, I often hear questions such as:
– "How much screen time is healthy?"
– "My child gets angry when I take the tablet away. What can I do?"
– "Is it normal that my child only wants to play video games?"

My answer is often: yes, it's normal — but it does require guidance. Don't compare your child with others; every child is different. Give trust, be clear, and provide structure. Look at what your child needs. And most importantly: keep talking with your child. Digital parenting is essentially not very different from regular parenting. It requires boundaries, explanation, and involvemet.

 Finally

We live in a digital world, and that is simply a fact. Digital media are an unavoidable part of children's lives — and that doesn't have to be a bad thing. But children need you to learn how to deal with it.

As a parent, you don't have to do everything perfectly, but it is important to parent consciously — also when it comes to digital media. I can therefore recommend a wonderful and practical book if you would like to read more about this topic.

Allow yourself — and your child — to receive guidance with this if you need it. And keep trusting in your role as a parent.

Thank you for reading. Take good care of yourself, be yourself, and care for your child with love.
Until next time!

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