Sleep: an important part of parenting

How nice that you're reading along again! With my blogs, I aim to support parents in their parenting and child-rearing journey. Although it can sometimes be challenging, it is also something you can enjoy. Try not to see obstacles as problems, but as phases that are simply part of the process. Enjoy reading this blog!

How much sleep does a child need?

Sleep is essential for a child's growth and development. Newborn babies sleep on average 15 to 20 hours a day. The exact amount depends on their age, growth stage, and temperament. Children between 1 and 3 years old usually sleep about 10 to 12 hours per night, often combined with one or two naps during the day. Around the age of 2, most children transition to one afternoon nap.

In the first weeks after birth, your baby does not yet have a sense of day and night. They wake up every 3 to 4 hours, often for short periods of 20 minutes to an hour. During these sleep periods, they process all the impressions of the day while their body grows rapidly.

Day and night reversed

Many babies are awake at night after birth and sleepy during the day. This is a leftover pattern from their time in the womb, when they were active while you were resting. This so-called "reversed rhythm" usually corrects itself naturally. If it takes longer, you can help guide the rhythm:

• During the day: keep your baby more awake by playing, going outside, and changing diapers in daylight.

• At night: keep things calm, dark, and quiet. Keep feedings short and minimize interaction.

From around 6 months of age, your baby will gradually develop a clearer day–night rhythm. They will sleep longer at night and be more active during the day. At that stage, it becomes important to create consistent bedtime habits.

Why sleep can sometimes be difficult

Sometimes your baby suddenly sleeps worse or has difficulty falling asleep. This can be caused by:

• The absence of a consistent sleep routine
• Physical discomfort or pain
• Overtiredness or overstimulation
• Stress or changes during the day
• The need for closeness or difficulty letting go

Your baby needs to learn how to fall asleep independently. This requires rhythm, calmness, and consistency. Regular bedtimes, clear sleep rituals, and predictability give your child a sense of security.

Sleep routines really help

A consistent bedtime routine may include:

• Reading a short book together
• Singing a lullaby
• Quiet cuddle time
• Explaining that it is bedtime
• Gently describing what will happen ("First we put on your pajamas, then we read a story, and after that you go to sleep.")

These habits help your baby or toddler understand that it is time to relax and settle down.

My experience as a mother

I personally experienced bedtime struggles with my three sons. My second son had difficulty falling asleep. It wasn't until I moved him to a larger bed—instead of the crib with rails—that I noticed a difference. He literally felt freer.

My two older sons also struggled to fall asleep independently, despite our rituals and bedtime stories. Sometimes we all ended up in the big bed, me in the middle, with a book and a song… and the evening would pass that way.

Although this felt comforting for the children, over time I realized it wasn't working. It was exhausting—for them and for me. When I decided to give less attention to the falling asleep process and followed the routine more consistently, sleep improved significantly.

What I hear from other parents

In my guidance sessions, I often hear stories from parents struggling with their child's sleep patterns. Many of these challenges stem from the idea that children cannot learn to sleep independently. But they can—with your help.

It's normal for your baby to cry, seek attention, or want comfort. At the same time, as a parent, you are often tired at the end of the day. Maybe you work, run a household, and just want a moment of peace. It's understandable that you might be tempted to give in and help your child fall asleep in the easiest way.

However, teaching your child to fall asleep independently is a valuable skill. It strengthens your child's confidence and helps both of you get better rest. It requires patience and consistency—but it's worth it.

Books I've frequently used for advice and with my own children:

Finally 

Sleep is an important part of parenting—not only for your child, but also for yourself. Allow yourself rest and trust in this process.

Thank you for reading. Take good care of yourself, be yourself, and care for your child with love.
Until next time!

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